Step Two

Step One: Spring . . .
I sit at my piano in the living room and every song flowing through my head is being sung by their voices. It's like magic. I don't hear my voice. I cry. At times the music is so touching.

Step Two: Last Weekend
I put all the songs into the computer. I cry. They sound awful. The magic is gone. Reality hits and the songs are scratchy, hoarse and barely melodic with my raspy voice stretching for the big notes. But it is necessary to get the music onto tracks so I endure...barely.


Step Three: Last night . . .
Then they come over. I cry. The cacophony turns into breathtaking sounds I once heard back in the spring when most of the temple music unfolded. Rachel and Linda save the day . . .again.

A Little Lesson:
I think most things in life have a dreaded step two. Sometimes it lasts a weekend, a month, a season, or even many years. Step two is usually necessary. It's the "hard part" of most goals we want to accomplish while we are here on earth. The trick...remembering there is a step three... hang on.

Club Murley

According to Emily's school coach there were over 200 girls
registered for the 4th grade race. . .
from across the city of Vancouver, all running at once.
Look at the nerves on these little sweet faces.
Emily was taking it all in.
Her life is carefree, casual and creative.
This is competitive.

I find it completely impossible to cheer and scream while taking a decent shot.
You are seeing little Emily run towards the finish line to take fourth place.

A Little Lesson:
As I stood at the finish line waiting for the massive pack of girls
to emerge from around the Trout Lake bend, I overheard a few "in the running loop"
mothers talking about coaches, problems finding a good club and running gear.
The first four girls emerge around the corner.
GO EMILY!!!
As Emily ran by me, the two women standing next to me at the finish line,
while I was screaming her name, say to me,
"Is that your daughter??? What club does she run with?"
That would be Club Murley where:
instead of lifting weights she gives 30lb Benjamin a piggyback for hours a day
instead of doing an early morning jog she and her sister chase each other around the house loop
instead wearing elite gear she chooses last years running shoes,why, no laces, easy Velcro
instead of proper running clothes an Edith Cavell jersey meant for a large skinny 7th grader.

You don't have to be fancy to be fantastic!!!

Together

I was asked to speak at the Stake Auxiliary training meeting for
Stake Young Women's, Stake Primary and Stake Relief Society the other night.
It was the first time these three auxillaries would be training together.
I was delighted to share my thoughts on how "epic" I felt this change was.
I shared what it used to feel like to work in Stake YW's for five years.
It was like we were all building beautiful programs, side by side.
Up close we were strong, hard working auxiliaries with purpose and commitment.

But we didn't have it quite right, close, but not quite.
Zoom out and we were not unified.
We needed to be working together to strengthen the family and help families come unto Christ.
Not just a primary child, a young women, or a mother.
How silly would a vase filled with individually wrapped flowers look on your mantle?

...much better.
A Little Lesson:
As sisters in Zion we'll all work together,
the blessings of God on our labors we'll seek.
We'll build up his kingdom with earnest endeavor;
We'll comfort the weary and strengthen the weak.

a b e a u t i f u l s o n g
with a b e a u t i f u l m e s s a g e

Moving

I cook breakfast.
I pack a box.
I change a diaper.
I pack a box.
I referee an argument.
I pack a box.
I write a talk.
I pack a box.
I empty the dishwasher.
I pack a box.
I write some lyrics.
I pack a box.
I read a kid a story.
I pack a box.
I put away laundry.
I pack a box.
I send an email.
I pack a box.
I lay on the couch.

A Little Lesson:
Line upon line.
Box upon Box.
Here a little. There a little.
I wonder if Isaiah ever moved a 3 story house?

Mystery

(Contents of our downstairs shoe closet.)

Everyday.
Go get your shoes on Clara it's time for school.
I CAN'T FIND ANY SHOES THAT MATCH!
How is it possible that she can have four pairs of shoes without a single match in the closet.
Does she come home from school, remove one shoe, keep on walking
to another area of the house and remove the other one?

A Little Lesson:
For most, it is the washing machine missing sock conundrum.
Not us.
Go big or go home.

Bored

She was bored.

A Little Lesson:

I think it is a blessing when we don't remember the feeling,
the meaning, the experience, or the occurrence of the emotion of boredom.
That is my life.

ME!!!

She spent the day at the pumpkin patch in Langley.
She played hard with Benjamin after school.
She had some colouring kindergarten homework (not really)
A long day for a five-year-old.
Who wants to help me make dinner?
She always says ME!!!

A Little Lesson:
It means it goes into the oven a little messier than usual. . .
but comes out just as delish and more appreciated by my pickiest eater!

Tired

It's hard to go to sleep when your mom buys you blue tinted eyelashes
to go with your smurfette halloween costume ten days before Halloween!

A Little Lesson:
Mature nine year olds become giddy five year olds around
Halloween and Christmas every year. Get used to it.

Handsome

While cleaning up I came across Clara's General Conference note book.

I chuckled.
I can only hope that when I am 81-years-old
a 5-year-old would think to write the word handsome under my picture.

A Little Lesson:
I think if investigated how President Monson keeps his good looks,
the following regiment would be discovered.
kept the word of wisdom
loved his neighbour
served the Lord with all his heart
studied the word of God
forgave those who offended
honoured the priesthood
paid tithing
did his hometeaching
and daily charitable acts.
I'm pretty sure it doesn't have anything to do with Dove, Clinique or Oil of Olay!

It Fits!

Saturday we got out the Halloween costume bins.
Clara checks out what's on the hand-me-down menu.
Every year she fits another costume one of her older siblings wore years earlier.
She doesn't mind.

A Little Lesson:
I think one of the greatest qualities we can acquire while here on the earth is . . .
F L E X I B I L I T Y

Mentors

And so it goes we begin the "lasts".
The last time we will this and the last we will that . . .

Friday we hosted our last "stake presidency" dinner that we have been having for the past six years, rotating from the Sugdens to the Walkers and back again to us. We always have such a wonderful time laughing and talking with one another over good food and conversation. We will miss many things about living here in Vancouver, but this will be one at the top of the list. Craig having the opportunity to serve in the stake presidency side by side with these stellar men has been such a privilege that will stay with him for a lifetime.

A Little Lesson:

I think all of us should make sure we have a few people in our lives that act as a mentor for us to keep our eye on as we go through our years here on earth. To me that means someone living their lives the way you hope to one day. So many of my friends and family are mentors in the way they serve, find humour, overcome challenges, embrace the gospel etc. When I was little I remember thinking my Grandpa and Grandma could truly do no wrong. I still feel that way. Even though my Grandpa has passed on he is still a mentor to me in how he spent his life dedicated to serving the Lord and his family. He was never a man of wealth, but rather a man of character. Although his ability to grow peas, raspberry and carrots for the grandchildren could of made him a fortune in my eyes.

Two Feet on the Ground

A Little Lesson:
I asked her how it felt.
"Okay"
She explained her favourite colour ribbon was the white one.
"That would mean I would have to come in 13th place." she clarified.
She also said she loved the black (9th) and the yellow (5th) ribbons as well.

Jonah

It's usually completely silent.
I compose/blog/clean/read/lay on the couch and doze.
Footsteps?
But he's napping . . .in the crib!

I go upstairs to investigate.
After a thorough search of every room . . .




A Little Lesson:
Ahh, that's what I'm missing.
The ability to hide under my bed.
When there are too many loads, emails, responsibilities...
I wonder if Jonah looked as obvious to the Lord as my Benjamin does.
As the old adage goes . . .you can run but you can't hide!

Yikes!

In our kindergarten there is not a hamster or a goldfish or a turtle that comes home but rather a class mascot stuffie. There is a little book that comes home with her to record all the fun things Callie the Cat does with your child. Clara lucked out and came home with the beloved backpack on Friday after school. Four days and three nights of fun-filled holiday weekend snuggling and more snuggling. I don't know when I became a germaphobe. But as I read through Callie's previous journal entries and read sentences like "I had a fever so I snuggled Callie all night . . ." next page, next child, "I took Callie to bed with me. . ."next page, next child, "I watched Lion King with Callie and snuggled on the couch . . ." next page next child, "I fed Callie some of my dog's food . . ."next page, next child "We took Callie to my piano lesson and out to MacDonalds" It took everything inside of me, when Clara asked if I wanted to give Callie the class mascot a kiss and a hug goodnight, not to run from the room!

Little Lesson:

Yikes! I think I'm getting worse. I don't remember being this concerned when Emily brought home Leo the Lion back in the day. I used to think that worrying about germs and microbugs and getting sick was just a control thing. It's always easier to worry about what's going on on the outside of us rather than what's really going on in the inside. Today. . . I'm not so sure, where's my hand sanitizer. . .

All is Well

Niki and I took our kids to the endowment lands to run through the trails.
At every turn, they climbed every stump they could see
and announced they were the King of the World or Surfin USA.


A Little Lesson:
Everytime I said "careful"
Most of the time they didn't hear me.
That's a good thing.
They are kids and they need to climb things.
I'm a mom and I need to worry.
All is well with the world.

Unattended

We met with an architect in our dinning room yesterday for one hour.
We left Benjamin pretty much unattended the whole time.

A Little Lesson:
I am feeling grateful.
The last time he felt a need to "get creative" it involved a permanent marker.
Chocolate pudding is 100% washable.

Where Did I Go?

I disappeared here on the blog for over a month during August and September.
Although I was busy with all sorts of things my heart, mind and soul were engaged daily with another special assignment that was extended to me in the late spring. I am going to be in charge of the Temple Youth Celebration that will take place at the Langley Event Center the night before the Temple Dedication. This will involve all the youth from the province who live in the temple district as well as the youth from Bellingham. I have just finished the script and composing the songs and they will finally be delivered to Salt Lake for approval this week. It has taken the early hours of my morning when I usually blog and it has taken the few hours I get when Benjamin sleeps every afternoon. It has been a labour of love. I have an incredible team of people who will help me bring this show to the stage. I decided not to write about the daily details of this process as it felt so special. Not secret. Just special. Never have I felt more love and peace composing then I have writing music for the Temple. It has filled my soul when life around me sometimes felt hard and heavy.

A Little Lesson:
That is what the temple is.
Love and peace.
A refuge for the weary.
Sunshine for the soul.
I love to see the temple . . .and in a few more months. . .
I'm going there some day!

Still Going Strong

Still going . . .
My tomatoes are like the energizer bunny.
Especially the cherry ones.
I pick this many everyday and there are still a hundred or so left on the vine.
They don't look quite as pretty as they did in August.
But after all . . .it is October!

A Little Lesson:
It's a good thing Benjamin and I LOVE
tomato sandwiches
greek salad
brochetta
BLT's
tomato and cheese pizza
and
s a l s a!

Ran a Good Race

Yesterday Emily ran in the cross country meet at Douglas Park.

She was up against about 20 other kids from about 5 different schools.
I think she would say playing around with her teammates before the race was the best part.

As her race got closer she started to get some jitters.
Last week she came in 2nd place and she saw the girl that beat her.
Her dad gave her some advice as he used to run like the wind at her age.

On your marks . . .

It was a long kilometer and a half.
She did it at full sprint most of the way.
It made my lungs burn just watching her!

She rounded the home stretch with four other girls and took third place.
What a race!
Why no finish line pictures?
I was too busy cheering and screaming her on!
She was so happy.
We were so proud.

A Little Lesson:
Spending the afternoon at the track meet reminds me once again...
life is not a race.
Not even against ourselves.
We are not running against each other, trying to get ahead, trying to pass on the inside.
There is no, "who can get there first" or "what place are you in".
It is just a journey.

It was still awesome to watch a good old fashion foot race with blue ribbons and finish lines!

Cousins

Some of my favourite people walking the earth are my cousins. I don't get to see them a whole lot as so many of them live in Alberta, but I just think they're all so awesome. Half of them are awesome moms, living the gospel while juggling a family and home. The other half are awesome dads, living the gospel while juggling family and work. Then there are a few little guys who are just coming onto the scene. (Auntie Lisa was born just as my dad left for his mission.) The other night I went to a Vancouver Giants game. Yes, I enjoyed a good game of hockey, but I wasn't there to cheer on the home team. Not this time! That's my talented cousin Mitch, number 6, playing for Lethbridge at the Pacific Coliseum! He was incredible! It took everything inside of me to not yell at the Lethbridge coach every time he was taken off the ice. He was just so fast and his shot was like a mac truck bullet and he weaved in and out of everyone . . .oh what a fun game to watch.

A Little Lesson:
I was so proud of Mitch!!! I sat there and cheered with all my might. But really I wish I could do that with all my 27 cousins. Give them a standing ovation and let them all know how proud I am of all of them working so hard, playing the game of life so well! As most of them don't have stadium seats in their living room, this blog post of gratitude for them will have to do.
Just imagine I'm doing the wave right now.
Go team go!

Only Child

The house is quiet.
Benjamin is having a little miso soup snack.
With Clara in Kindergarten, he has recently become an only child
for 1 hour and 53 minutes of the day.
Everyday.
He likes it.

A Little Lesson:
Wouldn't it be great if we could knock down that fence that divides the grass that is greener on the other side of us and have it all. I would sign up to raise an only child when I was teaching the family home evening lesson, traveling, sacrament meeting, buying school clothes and making supper. I would sign up for raising four kids for the family home evening game, Saturday morning chores, summer days at the beach, bedtime stories, trips to Disneyland, mother's day breakfast and after school hangout on the couch. Since I can barely keep the little patch of grass I have now mowed and weeded perhaps I should be grateful for what I have.

Rules

Yesterday I played a game of Disney Princess Monopoly with Clara.
There was no dice in the box so Clara made up all the rules. How many spaces we would go, whether forward or backwards, what the chance card said (even though she only reads phonetic words) what we could buy and not buy, and how much money we would give and receive.
It wasn't very fun.

A Little Lesson
By the end of it I was feeling really good about the decision of NOT
choosing Lucifer's Plan back in the Pre-existence.

Thank You Elder Bednar!

I know hearing the prophets testifying of the divintiy of Christ and the everlasting and true doctrine found in the Book of Mormon and the life-saving prinicples found in the Plan of Salvation is always a pleasure every general conference. But one of my favourite talks this year was when Elder Bednar shared some of the more real moments of his child rearing days. If you are feeling a little discouraged about how your children behave during family prayer or family home evening . . .go have a listen to Elder Bednar.
HERE
(5th speaker Saturday morning session)

A Little Lesson
I'm not sure why hearing Elder Bednar's talk about his boys poking and giggling through family prayer made me feel better about the reverence level, or lack of it in our home. Oh but it did! Especially since the last time we had Family Home Evening two of our kids spent some quality time on the stairs, another one got a lecture, we didn't even make the youngest one stay in the room and we threatened the treat three times. . .

Butterfly Nets

As we drove past the school yard, a group of kids were learning how to play lacrosse.

Clara yells with all her might from the back seat
"Mom, LOOK they are pretending to catch butterflies!!!"

A Little Lesson

I didn't correct her or explain that she was wrong. It was just to wonderful.
Who knows, maybe they were pretending to catch butterflies.

Another Big Day

We don't have an English sign on our building, just Spanish.

It was a big day. One I had thought about many times. Craig had taken Jordan on many special "father and son" times to talk about receiving the priesthood. He had learned from thoughtful primary teachers, he had watched the deacons, priests and teachers in sacrament meeting and today was a big day. With the priesthood safely resting on the shoulders of my twelve year old, Jordan went to the front of the chapel and joined his fellow comrades to pass the sacrament to the ward. He insisted earlier that morning that I didn't sit in the pew and cry through all of this. There was no worry for that. Keeping Benjamin entertained for the few minutes during sacrament prevented any tender moments of motherhood to produce any form of tears. It was beautiful though. I felt so happy and so full of love for my boy.

A Little Lesson

These big moments in our lives come and go. I remember driving to the temple with Craig to be sealed on a beautiful sunny day, violins could be heard in my head but upon seeing on one of our forms we were missing an important signature we dashed off to city hall to take of it before the start of the ceremony. I remember when Emily was to be blessed, dressed in her beautiful white blessing dress grandma sewed out of my wedding gown, again, violins began to play in my head until seconds before she was put in the cradling hands of the priesthood circle she threw up 2-3 cups of formula all over her daddy's right shoulder. I remember when Craig received the phone call to come to the stake center to be interviewed to be in the stake presidency, we drove reverently to the chapel on a beautiful sunny day, beautiful violin melodies again could almost be heard in my head until I turned around to see the sad state of our car filled with wrappers, lunch kits, library books, a few solo shoes and food particles I didn't know what food group they came from, forced me to tell Craig to park a little ways away from the stake office doors, in case the general authority walked us to our car! The big moments are always laced with a little dose of reality. Benjamin's behavior was right on cue. Keeping it real. One day I will hear those violins play, but I am not holding my breath.

I never thought . . .part two

Never did I EVER believe we would feel prompted to do this . . .

but we were. . .



and so we did.